My xanga makes me sound like an emo troubled child. Hahahaha! I'm not really, the only way I vent is through xanga so that's what I do. Actually, really, I'm not a mad person or I don't get mad that often. I know I always look mad or mean or look at the ground when I walk but that's just cuz I don't smile. lol. I don't know, what else face should I make when I'm walking through the hallways? Should I frown? look confused? Do people want me to smile while I'm walking through the hallways or...what? Doesn't everyone not constantly smile in the hallways...or when they're walking? I mean, usually people have no expressions when they're just walking everywhere and my "no expression" face looks like I'm pissed off. Btw, I'm sorry if you want to approach me and I look pissed off.
Truth is, I'm a pretty happy person, especially when I get plenty of sleep. ...or maybe I look mad to avoid forced small talk like...hey, what's up? Like...how am I supposed to respond to that? What am I supposed to say to...what's up? Uhh..."nothing much".....How awkward, like after I respond it gets silent and it's just awkward. Or that other question..."How are you? How have you been" ...what am I supposed to say..."Uh, I've been good"..Maybe I just lack in conversational skills, or maybe I just have too many sexual conversations with my friends that I forgot how to have a normal conversation with someone.
And also I hate it when you see someone in the hallway that you know and you don't know if you should say hi or not cuz I don't know it's weird...it's weird how you can say hi to them after school, before school, out of school, but in the hallways it's like a whole 'nother dimension like you see them and you don't know if you should say hi so you look at the ground or you pretend like you're looking at something on the walls or at lockers or pretend like you're tying your shoe or like you have to get something out of your back pack or pretend like you forgot something in your class so you walk around the other way or you're like "oh shit, I accidently dropped my contact lens while I was walking" even though you don't wear contacts in order to avoid eye contact with them so you don't have to say hi...it's like you end up doing so much other stuff that complicate things when the easiest thing to do would be to just say hi. And like when you do say hi, you're hoping that they see you when you say hi, but they might be doing the same thing so when you say hi and wave, you look like an idiot who's waving to someone that apparently doesn't even notice you and you're hoping that people don't see that...Well, I don't know about you, but that's how I feel.
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